Category Archives: doubt

look for the helpers

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flatten curveKia Ora my friends.The beautiful image to the left is one of the series of free, lovely downloads from the awesome people at The Old Try.

You know what awesome Fred Rogers is quoted as saying? “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.””

Oh, bless you Mr. Rogers.

Look for the helpers, my friends.

Like here: in Singapore. And here: Yoga with Adriene.

 

And look for the beauty – like those aforementioned prints, like these phenomenal cross stitch patterns, and like this bit of amazing news about the return of swans and dolphins to the canals of Venice.  And how lovely to witness adults being playful, as in this collection of lockdown vids from Huff Po. I know … it’s confusing.  The ‘net is both blessing and curse.

A couple of COVID specific screen time resources here, for all the kids spending extra time at home …there is a well-timed webinar coming right up from our friends at the Children’s Screen Time Action Network, and Common Sense Media will help you tread a little more carefully in the digital world, and I humbly offer an article I wrote some months (years!) ago, with some info about offline play for little ‘uns. 

Also: cut yourself a little slack, in the meantime! Good enough parenting, darlings.  Feel those feels and let the kidlets feel theirs too!  

We still gotta be careful about all the time online, pals. This is an article from the Guardian about how YouTube is an agent of radicalisation (if you didn’t hear this episode of the Undivided Attention podcast interviewing Guillaume Chaslot, it explains this notion v. well).

What else? Gotta bring it on home so I can go meet little girl off school bus.  Yup, still running in NZ.

Here is a guest post I wrote, about screen free week in NZ.  

And finally: RIP Ron Lally.  He was a tireless advocate for children and he helped change my professional trajectory.  He was kind and decent to me, we hung out both here and in Cali, and we in the field have lost a giant.

I only recently learned of his death, and I wept.

many links for geeky friends

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Kia Ora e hoa ma,

Many amazing things for you to read, coming right up.

First, from the World Health Organisation, about the needs of li’l kids.  I love how they cut through the dross and tell it like it is!  Here is a gift from the folks at New Dream, about being an effective change maker in 2020.

And now … a bunch of tech links.  Cos I gotta.  The first comes from MIT, the prestigious technology based university.  I highlight that source, because you cannot accuse them of being anti tech!  And if they are concerned about use of tech in the classroom, we oughta be concerned. From NZ, now, a summary of research that led to some recommendations for classrooms. Thanks, Sensible Screen Use!

 

(I wrote this piece a few years back: for OHbaby! about school readiness … might have to pitch another one with an emphasis on countering the over-technification of too many of our classrooms!)  I would begin by sharing the NEW ACTION KIT from the Children’s Screen Time Action Network. 

Outside the classroom: here’s a write up of an initiative to get kids to put down their phones, and here is a link to that initiative (“Look Up”). Kids can function just fine without phones, enjoy this story from the NY Times as evidence!

We do need to be a little more nuanced in our thinking about all this … the Human Screenome Project is one interesting example. 

From a speech language perspective, this is for parents about their own tech use, and this is about the need for sharing books with babies … books made of paper, not digital ones.

Children in NZ also need us to pay attention to the fact that so many of them are living in poverty, they need our support in getting outdoors and being a little free range, and let’s not forget the emotional development or the magical glial cells!

Finally, cos I gotta go drive a carload of kids to some swimming sports … I am coveting this.  Is that shallow or WHAT?

be careful what you wish for, etc

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picKia Ora lovely friends & geeks,

Here I am with the most recent issue of OHbaby! and i must say I do think it is a particularly good issue and not just cos I wrote one of the articles in there.  True story.

Babies rule. Mamas are amazing.

I am lucky enough to be living a life pretty darned close to 100% custom fit, suited to fit me.(I’m afraid that’s making me soft, but that is another story). Truly, it’s awesome. A testament to the power of hard work and little altars.

If you had told my 25 year old self what life would look like in 20 years, I’d be pretty stoked.

So I annoy myself with the tenacity and hypersensitivity of the ol’ inner grizzle. My head is full … full of the next step in the research (so many unknowns! Growth and learning at a painful pace), full of presentations to come (conference for homebased caregivers tomorrow, Playcentre on Monday!) full of domesticity & whānau.

Speaking of whānau, may I share some links?

First up, please enjoy this lovely 2 min clip from the Center for the Developing Child at Harvard University. It’s about the concept of “serve and return“, which is a way of explaining how interactions impact child development . I think about serve and return all the time.

Anyway, this is one for all the mums of teens and fans of mathematics, this is a piece from the Guardian – how to parent less.

 

Darn it … a crash just lost a good 2/3 of my links!  I’ll be back. Please bear with.

Stand by, please caller.

Captain Bringdown

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Kia Ora, ladies and gentlegeeks

It’s been a while since I came and geeked out over here and shared some links (aka cleared some tabs) and it’s a joy and a privilege to have a moment to do just that!

Small one due home from school in a jiff and I will switch from office brain to domesticity. But for now I want to pause and breathe in and out together, perhaps grounding through all four corners of the feet and rolling the shoulders.  AMEN!

And then I wanna say … mate it’s hard sometimes.  So much of the news is bad and the threats are real. The wisdom of what to do to protect ourselves (and provide an umbrella for others) can be increasingly hard to tune into when we are surrounded by outrage machines.

YA KNOW?

Oh, Nature, we need you!

Oh, attention span, I miss you!

Oh, movement! I love you!

Anyway, busy time for this geek, learning heaps of new bits as I try and get a study through an ethics committee (my first go). Also attempting to wrestle a literature review into submission.  Winning, but JUST. Lots of family stuff too, of course. And if you’re planting with the lunar cycles (and why wouldn’t you, I’d like to know? Might as well, right?) then this forthcoming weekend is the time to get your seeds started under cover.  Well, if you live near Canterbury, NZ.

Why don’t we do a link dump now, my friends, and I will see you on the flip side.

Let’s start with something from Business Insider (I love a diverse perspective!) on evidence Apple shareholders used to show smartphones are addictive for kids. While we’re talking about kids and phones (which I do an awful lot of, these days.  JEEZ I’M BORING) here is something from Wait til 8th (from US … as in 8th grade aka kiwi year 10 aka 14 years old … they promote waiting till that age till parents get their kids a smartphone) ANYWAY here’s something from them about screen use in schools.   And here’s a pretty great opinion piece about screens in schools.

OK, one more screen site: this is a list reason of physics-based reasons that too much screen stuff is bad for us, from Fair Observer AND this is a piece about an important bit of legislation in coming up for discussion in the US, to make infinite scrolling and autoplay not the default setting anymore.  Sorry if that sentence didn’t make sense.  School bus is here gotta go

…

Back.  Nearly done with screeniac links. THIS is from Scientific American, and it’s about rebuilding social media to support empathy. They’ll need to read this manifesto from the Center (Centre!) for Humane Tech, about avoiding human downgrading. 

THIS from the Conversation is about the need for diversity in children’s books,  and speaking of books, here is a piece encouraging paper not screen, and enjoy this webinar from our pals at the Children’s Screen Time Action Network … it’s about reading aloud.  Hooray.  I absolutely get how getting your kid comfy listening to stories on the iPad while you get a meal going can feel like a win, but imagine a world where you could consistently BE the iPad in that scenario!  I miss curling up with warm little kids and reading them stories.  I think that my dearth of snuggly reading means I must be outta whack.  I blame the literature review.  And the excessive amounts of pine pollen in my atmosphere!

See what I mean about the attention span?  Where was I?

Here is a cool thing from Scientific American about babies’ sense of justice, and speaking of justice, won’t you please sign this petition. Then, as dessert, check out these gems from my man Rick Hansen, to lower stress. Oh, and speaking of dessert! How gross is this marketing of diets to children? NO Thank you.

Now I’m stressed out again and I’ll just head back to Rick Hansen for some deep dreaths and inner smiles.

Arohanui,  y’all x x x

computers, compassion

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Kia Ora ladies and gentlegeeks,

If you are in NZ, I hope the school hols are treating you kindly.  Today has been a great day for a warm fire, baking and puzzles.  Soon I shall get serious about creating a delicious dinner for my crew.  Till then, I gotta lotta quality links to share.

Shall we?

First, I’m a little into the whole notion of Technology Shabbats, brainchild of Tiffany Shlain.  I heard about them via promotion for the upcoming webinar from the Children’s Screen Time Action Network.  Those webinars tend to be pretty awesome.

There are a great many reasons to try something like a tech shabbat, to declare yourself a member of the resistance.  We are part of a mass experiment and our brains are changing as a result …. or should we say, our brains are being changed.  There is something intentional and manipulative at play, although many will deny it.  Like Google.  Jeez, Google. You do WHAT?  Profit from pedophiles with your crazy recommendations and asymmetric algorithms?  Taste the shame. 

What to do?  If you’re New York rich, you might hire a coach to help raise phone-free kids,  which would be lovely, because all sorts of suboptimal outcomes are associated with too much tech … like these things in this blog post by Rae Pica, and read about diminishing physical skills in that there Australian article.  Pals, tech insiders don’t use the stuff like we’ve been coerced to.  Children are being predated on by the tech companies as well as the weirdos on their platforms.

Sigh.  Too much tech gets in the way of lots of other important things that children need to do.  They have WORK to do (they need “love, attention and plenty of free time”), if they are to be allowed to be thought “ready for school” at the appropriate age.  They gotta figure out how to make sense of emotion, they need adults helping them to process trauma before it gets lodged in their bodies, and they gotta climb trees.

I mean, we all gotta get outside more, preferably to dig in the dirt.  We are going to have to continue to raise a little hell, like this mama in Maryland who I salute from afar as she advocates for saner screen use in her school.  Put books in all waiting rooms!!

screen free week aftermath

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Kia Ora lovelies,

I would have begun this post sharing the tales of joy that emerged from our week offscreen & offline (ie, LIVING LIFE!) but instead I must grouse about having spent the entire morning troubleshooting the problems with my referencing software.  Little Girl only has a half day of school today (therefore I can only count on a half day of productivity today!) and I have done NONE of the work I intended doing.  And she’ll be here in less than an hour!

SO FRUSTRATED.  But trying hard not to stress out.  Breathing in, out, in out.

The disconcerting bit is how the problem appears to be resolved, but I am not confident that any of my fixes worked the magic.  It seemed to inexplicably right itself, just as I commenced crying/yelling!

I cannot help but think that the screens are retaliating to my joyful rejection of them during Screen Free Week?  No, not possible!  Does AI exist in word processing/referencing software?  Surely not!  And if so, did the sight of my sobbing form elicit some kind of compassionate reaction?  I don’t know what to think!!

Anyway, friends, let’s share some links.

Here is a little something about how too many structured events can limit kids’ executive functioning.  Let ’em play!

This is a link to join a free online summit about mindfulness & compassion at work, and this is another online conference, about parenting a spirited/high needs child, and featuring the magnificent Dan Siegel.  Things we love about tech … right there.

The Center for Humane Tech has released some important info, this week, about the shared definition of “human downgrading“.  Love.  Not a moment too soon, my friends, as there are definitely downsides to our love affair with devices, and the hardware designers don’t seem to really want to support our paths to healing.  SHAME on you, Apple!

At least there’s Moment.  

Also, speaking of healing, I LOVE this approach from British doctors, prescribing real life stuff that’s good for the soul (I know I love my dance class and need it like medicine!).  Thanks, Smithsonian Mag, for sharing.  Unrelated goodness: using humour to share an important message about world overpopulation … endangered species condoms.

Here is an important article from “the conversation” about the loss of personalised school cleaning services, and the losses for children.  I’ve witnessed this outsourcing and I say “Boo!” (as in: thumbs down, not trying to be scary!)

To close: I humbly share something I wrote a while back, and may I urge you anew to eat your greens.

many links to … enjoy?

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As is oft the case, my geeky brothers & sisters, a great many of the things I’m about to share with you might not exactly be *enjoyable*.  But mate, they are important nonetheless.

So while the clock’s tickin’ and time’s a-wasting, I’ll just commence the link dump, shall I?

First, a really useful piece about being trauma informed  in the classroom, and while we’re in the classroom, here is a lovely li’l something about the role of self-compassion in academic performance.  Important, because look how harrowing grad school can be.

A few more screen-y links: here is something about the risks of choosing electronic socialisation over the kanohi ki te kanohi, face to face type, and the Guardian reminds parents not to let children take screens into bedrooms.

Here are a couple of research articles to seek out: this one carves a line between screen time and developmental screening scores, (which is problematic: check out THIS  from the Independent pointing to how much more time the littles are spending on screens than they did even 15 or so years ago) … and this work points out how screen use during daily routines is contributing to social-emotional delays.  As a counter, you might LEAN IN to the routines, thusly.  

Reasons to resist, continued!  In this interview,  Chamath Palihapitiya (a former Facebook exec) says:

 “I think we have created tools that are ripping apart the social fabric of how society works. The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops we’ve created are destroying how society works. No civil discourse, no cooperation; misinformation, mistruth. You are being programmed”

 

Other stuff now … HERE you will find an article about the ways that early development (specifically behaviour) points to earning power in adulthood, this is a piece from Psychology Today about the spotlight effect (how I love a research project that involves Barry Manilow!) and here is some goodness from Rick Hansen about taking in the good.

Speaking of good, check out this project that keeps people bicycling at all ages, here are five ways to nurture compassion in kids, and this is a slew of treats for the simplifier in your life.  This is just about the coolest thing I’ve ever seen – haiku meet the Supreme Court of the US… and a final bit of inspiring reading is to be found here, and it is about self-definition.  Yeah!

staring out of windows

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Kia Ora my friends, colleagues, geeky brothers & sisters

Summer is whipping past with the speed of a nor’west wind and I am finally ready to begin list-writing and the wrangling of ducks into rows as I contemplate my action-packed 2019.

Even as most of NZ has attempted varying degrees of summer holiday, there have been a great many things written, published, and shared.  I will pass some along now!

I’ll begin with a link to the most recent webinar from the Children’s Screen Time Action Network, and here is a li’l something from The Conversation, of Australia.  These are some lessons from people who don’t use social media, and this NY Times piece wonders what we could do with the found hours and energy that would emerge if we put our phones down for a year.

This makes me suspicious: it’s about the gamification of classrooms, and this piece from the BBC  speaks to parents’ frustrations at the lack of ‘official’ guidelines for kids’ screen use.  (Send the kids outside to play!  It’s important for their eye health).

I’ll change gears for a few links now, because I do geek out about a range of stuff, not just the screen dramas.  Here is a link from Early Childhood Australia about the value of music in children’s lives, this is a report from Harvard about an amazing study that uses a massive data set to attempt to tease out the impact of nature/nurture (“gene code or zip code”) on various diseases, and THIS!  Yes, this is important.  From The good folk at A Mighty Girl, about the folly of “he’s mean because he likes you”.

As a country girl and a lifelong wool fanatic (ain’t lying!) I was STOKED to read about this innovative use of a renewable resource.  Oh, listen … full disclosure … I have been enjoying a vegan diet  for a couple of months now, but clearly this does not actually make me a vegan.  My love for wool is even greater than my love for eating a plant-based diet.  SORRY.

Here is a piece from the awesome Evolutionary Parenting website, about why punishment does not work, and I also love the work of Rick Hansen … here is a gift of a piece about letting go of unnecessary burdens.  Great timing as I work on a piece for my pals at OHbaby! about the risks of comparison.

This is a reflection from someone who often works with young people (they’re stressed out!) and LO! we have dovetailed back to screen related topics.  Click HERE  to read a summary of negative effects of excessive screen on children (and what parents can do about it) … you might want to install time-limiting software?   Like this.

Meanwhile, GOOD GOLLY I think this is really, really important from Psychology Today … it’s about the dangers associated with ‘technovoidance’, that is, avoiding feeling the feels and instead turning to the distractions of the shiny and pingy.  Oh, feel the feels!  Please gaze about during wait times!  Stare out windows!  Be bored!

“Don’t just do something!  SIT THERE!”

Here is a sobering piece from Scientific American about the cultural parenting hangover left over from the flippin’ Nazis, and I’ll follow that up with something beautiful, as a palate cleanser.  Check out these lovely pictures from “the best shell beach, ever!”.

have yourself a geeky little Christmas

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mama body issue coverKia Ora koutou, hello everybody!It has been a challenge to get to the computer, but I did it … even if just for a moment!  To the left is a quote I’m rather proud of – I have an article in the most recent issue of OHbaby! mag, about mother’s bodies and the need to care for ourselves.

My usual annual ban on wintery Christmas songs (White Christmas, Sleigh Ride, etc) is temporarily abated – it almost feels like winter, because the conditions in my kiwi summertime are so spazzy (hail, rain, chilly temperatures).  So what the heck, right?  I could try being, as my Big Girl would say, “all chill”.  Not my natural state!

Quick link dump for my friends, then I’m off to help Little Girl clean her bedroom – how could a person add gifts to chaos in good conscience?

Speaking of gifts, may we begin with this from the LA Times, it’s the advice of pediatricians this Christmas.  Just say NO to electronic toys!

Other useful gift ideas: I have made another donation to RAICES, which is an organisation in Texas that gives legal representation to children who have been separated from their parents at the border.  Seeking asylum is not a crime!   If you can watch that video without crying you’re exempt from donation, I guess (but you may find coal in your stocking on Tuesday).

I supplemented that donation with the purchase of ITMFA gear for those I love.  These small acts of resistance make it easier for me to spread kindness and joy, which I will continue to try doing, because the positive vibrations will have genuine impact!

May your festive season be full of family and love and mess and tasty treats.  May you play board games, go for slow waddles around the block, and have the opportunity for a nap … but please exercise caution if your nap strategy involves plying children with screens.  It is probably oK just that once, but unconscious screen use is a poor long-term solution, especially if the kidlets are super young.  And don’t trust the buggers  telling you it’s all chill!  Even schools have been seduced.   Exercise caution, friends.  Use critical thinking.  Even some cynicism might be useful here.

But before we slide into Grinch-y cynics all the time, here are some lush treats to close.  This is Fred Rogers’ Emmy acceptance speech from 1997 (LOVE HIM), here is a link to the Greater Good Science Center  at UC Berkley, and this is a TED talk from Ilona Stengel about the role of emotion in science (big emotions here: I’m still tearing up from rewatching the Mr Rogers bit!).

Enjoy this rare and magnificent treat: Terry Crews channels Bob Ross for a restful gift, and I cannot get enough of the Inspirobot …

Speaking of awesome advocates and wise folk no longer with us, I await the film about the late, great Celia Lashlie with bated breath and I send extra greetings to her whānau at this poignant time of the year.

Finally: if you are involved in early education in New Zealand in any capacity, please take some time this summer to have a jolly good look at the info about the ECE strategic plan, and make your voice heard!  

Arohanui, y’all x x x x

 

it’s fledgling season

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E reads Earlybirdwhen I’m at my sink or at my desk I have views to different bits of lawn.  I can hear (I always hear them first cos they are LOUD) and see fledgling birds following their mothers around, and yelling for food.

It’s all I can do to not run out and give the fledglings a lecture.  They could find a sweeter tone when they call out, surely.  And then I’ll turn to the mother starling and insist she set some clear limits and encourage fledgling to develop the set of skills that will enable him to fend for himself, some day.

So I’ve been thinking about big ol’ fledglings, almost the same size as the parent but so clearly in need of their parents protection.  And then LO! and behold I went to a delicious and delightful book launch last night, for a lovely book called EARLYBIRD, by Julie Burgess-Manning with illustrations by Jenny Cooper. You can order your copy HERE.

Anyway, it is a beautiful picture book for children and families about a Pukeko family whose new egg hatches too soon, the care that egg must receive and the ways that the li’l Pukeko can (and does) flourish.  It will be such a gift for families to support understanding and hope during a really tricky time of life.  More and more babies are born prematurely, so lots of families could use a bit of extra support and let’s just say access to such support is patchy.  This book will help.   All hail, Champion Centre!

Other things that have been happening include a busy week of presenting and a final date for university work, and I foolishly had an expectation of kicking back thereafter.  Instead it’s catching up on appointments, tending to spring time garden, commitments with the kids, family stuff.  Which is all a blessing, to be sure, but sometimes I long to switch lives with my 11 year old nephew.  Muck around with a ball, eat, make fart jokes, do the occasional chore, eat, read, and sleep.  Oh, and hang out with your mates.

Sounds AMAZING.  That pretty much sounds like my dream holiday.  Throw in a lounger, some yoga, and cocktail hour, and I am on vay-cay!

But I’m the Auntie, not the nephew, so I’d better make the most of it.

Nerding out is one way I do that, so please do join me in a quick link dump before I go make dins for my peeps.

Alright: first up … I saw another awesome webinar from the Children’s Screen Time Action Network, this one features Nancy Carlsson Paige and her content is so good … well, all of them have been good.  Check out the archives HERE.   Annnnnnnnd, that webinar also served as an announcement for the release of this piece of goodness, it’s Dr Carlsson Paige’s Parent’s Guide to Young Children in the Digital Age: it is both free and wonderful.

Hey: I learned about this event “Roaring on Aotearoa” .. TOO LATE!  I have not read this book  or heard of this movement but it looks like my cup of tea, 100%.  Fingers crossed Santa could get that book for me.  Did any of y’all get to go?  Was it awesome?  I did manage to get tickets for this, though … turns out I’m a sucker for slapstick British comedy.  Blame my upbringing – big brothers = the Young Ones, etc.

Meanwhile, I thought this local bit about young leaders was both depressing and inspiring, and MATE our young people could use some back up, too … I ain’t lying about the need for caution around the tech and education for folks about the ways we’re being manipulated … in the meantime, we could all use the tech to look up loveliness like this recipe for simpler holidays from New Dream, then jot our favourite ideas onto a bit of paper and power down.   Just for a couple of hours.  GO ON.