Monthly Archives: October 2013

listening. and linking.

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Friends,

As my dear late mama used to say “we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk”.

I’ve been working hard to be a better listener of late: toddler, big girl, hubby & friends.  Sometimes I’m good at it and other times I’m appalling.  But it’s humbling how hard I have to work.

Let’s start with a lovely reminder of the camaraderie of motherhood.  Tired mothers: you’re not alone.

This is a link to a li’l cautionary piece about kids and screens, here is another version of the same thing (with handy advice for parents, this time!) and check this out: children are way more distracting to drivers than cellphones!

This is a luscious list to give us some alternative ideas to use in discipline with our kids and this is some pretty fascinating research about aggressive behaviour and a possible link to epigenetic changes during pregnancy & early childhood.

OH! And while we’re thinking about early brain stuff (aren’t we always!) you gotta listen to my dear friend & esteemed colleague Nathan Mikaere Wallis talking early brain development on Radio New Zealand’s Nine to Noon show.  HERE is the link. 

When you finish, p’raps you’ll join me on a quest to be a more attentive & honest listener.  Do you find it as tricky as I do?

linking. ‘cos that’s what this geeky girl does.

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article illustrationThis post begins with a shout-out to Good magazine, for they are the first media anything I have come across who have suggested that breastfeeding is one wise response to the recent scares surrounding contaminated infant formula (real or imagined).

Next is a website that I cannot believe it’s taken me so long to find.  Squint Mom – science and thinking and babies and family.  Love.

Gotta stop – 20 month old child expresses displeasure at my being on computer by faux crying, saying “Mama! Tuddle!  Sad!” as she clings to my thigh.  Feel like a fraud, a phony.  And the veggies ain’t prepping themselves.

 

doing it wrong

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Geeks,
There seems to be a curse on the thinking mamas.  When it comes to motherhood, everyone I know (self included) endures waves of indecision, regret, self-doubt.

It would seem that we all believe ourselves to be doing it wrong.  Worse, I think we might just imagine that our sisters are magically doing it right.

Whatever “it” is. (discipline, sleep routines, dinnertime …)

And whatever “right” means.  (effortlessly, patiently, attractively …)

What is the seduction in the angsting?  Like, if we go back to work we worry that we are terrible mothers.  But if we stay home, we worry that we are terrible mothers.

So often a trawl through the literature will find arguments for and against just about anything:

So what’s a gal to do?  Momma Geeks … there is such a thing as overthinking.  There is power in trusting yourself, in honouring intuition and in tuning into that wee inner voice.  The one that comes from your gut.

In order to hear this in amongst the busy-ness and action of a family, find the thing that gives you quiet.  I cherish my weekly yoga class, and I go for a stroller-walk when I can, concentrating on my breath and footsteps on the asphalt (and on avoiding the oncoming trucks from the nearby quarry).  I know mamas who meditate, run, play music, read.  You gotta do the thing that gives you joy, peace, calm.

There is also great value in knowing which other voices to trust: I trust mine (usually) and I am lucky enough to have in my life other folks whose baby-views and family-thoughts matter.  Pals.  Mentors.

You know who you are.  And I thank you.

 

an article

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Hello geeks!  Here is a link to an article I wrote for our pals at Tots to Teens.

And some other interesting links … this is a website dedicated to kid’s health.  This particular wee bit is about children’s emotional wellbeing.
Here is an abstract to some research from the National Institute of Health re-examining the worlds of temperament and attachment.  FASCINATING.  As is this: kids with autism don’t experience the contagious factor of yawns.

More later.  School holidays demand my attention …