a lover, not a fighter

Kia ora fam,

I really would like to be allowed to exist for love. Like Aurora.

My training and work and research and life all justify my long held pro-mama, pro-baby, pro-relationships stance.

Relationships and play, y’all. I live to fly the flag for these vital ingredients!

So it’s gutting that so much of my time and energy seem to be required in rebutting and fighting. Ugh, the negativity! But as you know, there’s a baddie trying to pollute our river. In fact, there are multiple short sighted folk seemingly happy to pollute all our waterways! Clean, green NZ? Nope.

Similarly, in my corner of the world (child development, family thriving, etc!) there is junk science published every day and questionable research underway all the time. If I allowed myself, I could stay in a constant state of defence, parrying and sparring from dawn till bedtime, just trying to uphold an infant’s rights.

It’s hard to wrap your arms around a person or a concept while holding a shield to ward off the threats to their wellbeing. But listen, some of what goes on is so very questionable, YOU GOTTA hold the shield. You gotta ask difficult questions.

Like this: how does the fact that babies enjoy one another’s company serve as a justification for guilt-free group care? I’m at a loss for how to parse the ludicrousness of this logic-leap, which is seemingly a cynical justification of an economic system which relies on paid childcare and requires developmentally vulnerable infants to bear the brunt. Sure, babies enjoy each other’s company, that’s cool! This is not surprising, given that we evolved to spend time in groups, and alloparents (ie adults who behave like parents in support of parents, like grandparents & aunties) are a vital part of a thriving community. HOWEVER, the fact that babies like other babies does not mean they are best served by the current dubious ratios, high staff turnover and excessive group sizes that are all too often found in the profit-driven world that early childhood education (childcare) has become.

Or this: the virtual baby at UC, which gives me indigestion. Just … why? Also: how expensive was it to develop this circus of infant disrespect? An infant sized doll would be a much better proxy. In the good old days of sane teacher training, we absolute beginners used to practice nappy changes on dolls, rehearsing respectful routines using lots of language and taking an unhurried approach … I saw that virtual baby in development and LORD I hope it has progressed further than the ghastly nightmare which I saw: a baby who could not respond to song, or touch, or gaze. The virtual baby could not be comforted by any of those biologically appropriate responses, but would only stop crying when laid on the ground and given a virtual rattle to play with. WHAT? And this would help train quality professionals …how? Just because something can be done (like a VR headset for teacher training!) does not mean it should be.

Even this: my latest article for my pals at OHbaby! magazine, which is a cautionary tale about baby tracking apps. Can we be FOR responding to babies’ cues? Not without defending against the latest threat to that, first! Gah!

We need some positivity to end this post, or we will all wind up with a bad case of the blues. OK, so … howzabout the Joy Workout from the NY Times? That’s fun.

And here’s some more fun, thank you Catherine Price. Here is a link to a cool group who are all about “Radical Attention”, here is inspiring (brief!) video about leadership, and this is a glorious collection of links … you will find art and beauty courtesy of the soon-to-cease-to-be Vampire’s Wife (covet! covet!).

What else? Some beautiful art by a talented woman from the San Francisco area named Shannon Knowlton, an excellent summary of recommendations for screen use in schools and ECE, and (from our friends in Ireland) a summary of screen use in children’s presence, more generally.

Speaking of summaries, I am in my office today to begin work on my research summary. I gotta transform a 350+ page document into a 1-2 page lay summary. Like an abstract, but nicer to read! This is not an easy task and I’ll admit to being a bit bamboozled by it.

But needs must, friends, so I will hop to it. Wishing you all blessings, love, joy – and the courage to question and defend, when required!

x x x