I ruin parties!

Kia Ora ladies and gentlegeeks,

How to ruin a party, in two easy steps.

1) introduce yourself to a small group

2) explain that you’re researching the impact of parental distraction by smartphones on the parent:infant relationship.

That’s kinda why I call myself Captain Buzzkill.  Because I can’t sit and pretend everything is OK while babies are having their caregivers seduced and distracted by the dopamine machines.

Because I can’t switch this off!  A staunch child advocate knows no rest! The other night hubby and I were out on a Saturday night (that previous link is an awesome song but it is a YouTube video … RESIST – do not click on recommended videos, and here is why.)

ANYWAY we were attempting to both rock and roll to a visiting musician’s best efforts, and he was riling up the crowd with “it doesn’t matter who you are, we all get a say” kind of messages, and instead of anything resembling a “woooo – hooooo!” the best I can do is lean into husband’s ear and say “not babies, though.  They need advocates”.

So edgy and cool am I!

Last night I had the great privilege of a rant and a talk with a group of whānau in my own neck of the woods. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again I LOVE PLAYCENTRE

This coming hard on the heels of a joyful Saturday, getting to hang out in a roomful of loving professionals associated with Homebased childcare in New Zealand.

Lovely, lovely!

I was grateful for someone’s question last night about my imagined and desired guidelines for families to support them in making wise digital choices in the presence of babies. Off the top of my brain I came up with three good ones, and I’ve since thought of another worth including. These are based on the months and months of reading, writing & thinking I’ve done about tech and the years and years of reading, learning, writing, thinking & teaching about child development, families, relationships, attachment, behaviour, etc!

You get it, I am a baby geek.

Anyway.  The guidelines so far look like this:

  1. Save it till they Sleep
  2. If you must use tech, say “excuse me”
  3. Keep your phone in your bag in the next room
  4. Make routines (food, sleep, dressing) device free

Each of these can use some explanation and unpacking, but not now my friends.  I have to go do some domestic stuff before the evening shift begins!

Some of the resources we talked about were

be careful what you wish for, etc

picKia Ora lovely friends & geeks,

Here I am with the most recent issue of OHbaby! and i must say I do think it is a particularly good issue and not just cos I wrote one of the articles in there.  True story.

Babies rule. Mamas are amazing.

I am lucky enough to be living a life pretty darned close to 100% custom fit, suited to fit me.(I’m afraid that’s making me soft, but that is another story). Truly, it’s awesome. A testament to the power of hard work and little altars.

If you had told my 25 year old self what life would look like in 20 years, I’d be pretty stoked.

So I annoy myself with the tenacity and hypersensitivity of the ol’ inner grizzle. My head is full … full of the next step in the research (so many unknowns! Growth and learning at a painful pace), full of presentations to come (conference for homebased caregivers tomorrow, Playcentre on Monday!) full of domesticity & whānau.

Speaking of whānau, may I share some links?

First up, please enjoy this lovely 2 min clip from the Center for the Developing Child at Harvard University. It’s about the concept of “serve and return“, which is a way of explaining how interactions impact child development . I think about serve and return all the time.

Anyway, this is one for all the mums of teens and fans of mathematics, this is a piece from the Guardian – how to parent less.


Darn it … a crash just lost a good 2/3 of my links!  I’ll be back. Please bear with.

Stand by, please caller.