some goodies here

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Good morning friends & geeks,

First link to share this morning is a pro-breastfeeding piece, with a science writer from UK’s Telegraph suggesting our offspring will all be RICH if only we whip our boobies out. It’s gotta be worth a go!

Next: here is a link to an abstract from the Annals of Family Medicine.  Is exposing children to second hand smoke child abuse?  Have a wee click on the aforeposted link and see!  And this is another abstract … about disorganized attachment.  Such fun.

Now … this is a link that will whisk you to the Child and Family Blog and an article about how post-smacking-your-child-affection is utterly ineffective.  We’ve gotta resist the smacking at all, brothers and sisters.

Whaddya reckon about this … it’s suggesting that occasional video gaming is actually beneficial to children and their school success.  Surely, like everything, there is a whole lot of “it depends” at play here.

Finally, even though I do get mildly concerned when folks advocate a return to 1970’s parenting, there is definitely some good to be gleaned from this blog post shared with me by the Goddess of the North.  Just yesterday I was on the phone with a school mama longing for the days when kids just optimistically turned up for playtime without the crazy logistics involved in organising play dates, these days.

Kia Ora.

 

 

some good, some not

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Life is full of goodness and not-so-goodness, eh.

Like … a beautiful stack of firewood is most definitely good.  The fact that smacking one’s kids continues to be a default setting for many parents (including the allegedly progessive millennials!) is NOT good.

This amazing website from the UK is a dreamy resource for parents of new babies (and those who work with them) and this newsletter from the World Association for Infant Mental Health is another example of goodness.

Finally, self knowledge has gotta be good.  And warm drinks on cold days.  And friendship.  Relationships.  Even hugging strangers.  All good.

parenting … it’s not all beer and skittles

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Kia Ora y’all

Biiiiiiig week for this geek, had three days of lectures @ university, lucky to have a willing and able parent to step into grandparenting.  My dad.  My kids.  My heart is full.

In all honesty, all that was helped along by my having packed nutritious lunchboxes the night before, and by loading the crock pot with healthy goodness the morning of.  It’s that invisible stuff that goes unnoticed all too often, and this is why I am giving my trumpet a minor toot.

The invisible stuff of parenting is what I yearn to make visible – this is a big reason for my public adoration of Naomi Stadlen and her ‘mothers talking’ work.  If you’ve never read What Mothers Do or How Mothers Love I just reckon you oughta.

But then there is an aspect of parenting made visible that clearly rankles … the insistence from mothers of grown children that any acknowledgement of the struggles of daily life with young children is something resembling failure.  Last year I linked y’all to this great blog post on Momastery,  and just this past week my pal shared this similar sentiment from the Boganette blog.

For onlookers to rush to the “your babies are blessings now just be grateful” angle is MOST unhelpful.  It denies the validity of mama’s emotions in the here and now.  It denies the reality of life in the here and now (parenting can be bloody hard!  AND it flies in the face of what we understand from the worlds of neurobiology, psychotherapy and decent humanity … accept what someone is feeling.  Just let them have that feeling.  Toddler, friend, adolescent, man, woman, whoever.  Feeling something.  So there.  OH!  How timely …  This is one of the gifts from my university experience last week – brief Youtube clip about empathy that I reckon you’ll love.

Quick link dump then I gotta go cos offspring are plotting rebellion (in party hats).  This is from the Washington Post about the culture of caesarian in the USA, here is a paper about infant circumcision and human rights (which I’m not sure I agree with), and I wrote this a while back but had cause to find it again last week and I reckon it’s still relevant.

If the weather cooperates, we’ll be off to see Te Matatini kapa haka festival tomorrow. See you there. Smooch!

quick, before lunch

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Lunchtime is my favourite time.  Hey, it’s Lunchtime!  (a prize for whomever can name that artist …)

Quick: some links.  No snazzy segways or classy intros or even categories.  Just random links … GO:

This is from Scientific American and it’s about how to get more parents to vaccinate their kids.  I have.  This is a link to the American Mindfulness Research Association, and here is some explanation as to why smiling makes us happier and more successful.  Even a faux smile!

This is a YouTube clip about the lovely Tree Change Dolls I shared a while back and this is a blog post about the relentless branding of children’s toys.  Ugh.

Here’s an interview urging rebellion against ‘the gospel of money’ and this article from v. good North & South magazine features the most excellent Rick Hanson who I heard speak a month ago.  Still reeling.  In a good way.   You could also do this wee yoga practice and be happy.  Especially if you smile whilst doing so.

Finally, boycott your biology.  Supress the sociology.  Dance and sing in public!

tell the children the truth

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Hey friends and geeks

I came to a life of Baby Geek-ery via the wonderful world of early childhood education.  And I’m pretty sure that I trained as an early childhood teacher during a Golden Age – the early nineties, when funding wasn’t that bad and when Te Whariki -the glorious curriculum of New Zealand ECE – was just being published.

We were taught about cool, mildly radical ideas like the Anti Bias Curriculum, which is a way of thinking, being, and organising life in an early childhood centre with a view to actively promoting social justice.  Instead of ignoring the racist graffiti, teachers with an Anti Bias focus arm their children with paint and brushes and explain the need to obliterate the ugly sentiments.

I’ve been wondering where this gentle activism is, in light of the influx of princess play and the pinkification of girlhood.  (re: pinkification … Enjoy this awesome blog by an at-home dad, Man Vs. Pink, which I learnt of here thanks to a geeky observer).

Meanwhile, I am as ever conscious of the way that children are marketed to and how marketers prey upon our young.  And while the adults who care are signing petitions and lobbying corporates, I wonder who’s in the trenches, actively teaching mellow radicalism to young children.  Children need to be taught the truth about the adults who will try to exploit them for money.  Those selling things to our kids don’t make decisions about what or how to sell based around love and concern for our beautiful children, they make decisions that serve their shareholders.

Just this past fortnight, my very own Little Girl’s third birthday included more Disney product than I am comfortable with.

So I am wondering what has happened to the Anti-Bias idea, whether it stops at issues of race and ability or whether we need to be stirring up a bit of awareness around commercialisation, sexism, and sexualisation of childhood.

Tell the children the truth!

 

some links

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Kia Ora friendly geeks.

Here come some links.  First, from the journal Pediatrics.  Beware the screens!  And next, a li’l something about language development and how mamas talk to their babes.

This is gonna have to do for now: it’s before school and I am being a lousy mum on a computer.  But I just HAVE to share this from Time magazine (thanks sister).  Baby teaches modern dance class.  I was raised by a dancer so I share this not to minimise the skill and value of dance, but to honour the skill and value of babies.

Open Letter

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This past week a tragedy struck.  A baby died, in the North Island.  And I can’t stop thinking about this loss.  This monumental sadness.

I have written a letter to Mace’s mama, and here it is: loss.  For my own benefit as much as anything.  Because I can’t stop thinking about them.  This mother.  This baby.  Their family.

I can’t help thinking that this poor baby, this poor woman, have worn the burden that we all feel in the most ghastly way.  So many of us are too busy.  Too much going on.  Heads full.  Reliant upon routine and vulnerable in the face of change.

This family are the devastated canaries in our weird modern coal mine.

We need to slow the hell down.

 

more linking

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Photo on 2015-01-23 at 10.38 morning.  Quick array of links before this Geek gets stuck into some writing.  And reading.

First up, the coolest thing I’ve seen in AGES … coverage of an art project from Australia in which ghastly Bratz dolls are given makeunders, and with their natural beauty on show they are posed in age-appropriate clothes in natural, outdoor settings.  Here’s the artist’s actual website.  I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!

And now to a lovely blog written by a RIE educator, Janet Landsbury.  My buddy sent this to me.  And then made up crazy new translations for what RIE might stand for.  It is actually the abbreviation for the organisation founded by the late, great Magda Gerber, called Resources for Infant Educarers.

Slightly depressing research is written about here confirming that children will eat junky snacks whether they’re hungry or not, and a write up here about the power of maternal soothing to mitigate the effects of pain.  Interesting, cos I was aware about research suggesting that infants on the laps of their mamas had less cortisol production when receiving injections, and I’ve heard Bruce Perry talk about injured soldiers who talked with their mums on the phone needing less pain relief … and this kinda seems to marry those stories.

INNNNNNNNNNNNTERESTING.

OK.  That’s gonna have to be enough for now.

Arohanui xx

in my office

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Photo on 2015-01-12 at 11.27Woah … I”m all overexcited and hyper caffeinated because I just had a big online time with Sherry Bevan, co-ordinator of the Confident Mother online conference.  Days and days of free, thought provoking content.  Did I mention free?

Anyway, in the course of our conversation I made reference to the awesome interview from Dr Stuart Shanker that featured on CBC radio’s “Ideas” podcast.  I went back to find a link to it for Sherry, and LO! There is a new, updated version available to download and listen to.  You must!  Parents, teachers, everyone … LISTEN.

Here, also, a cornucopia of useful self-regulation resources from Canada.

Gotta go make some snacks xx

Friday arvo

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Photo on 2015-01-09 at 17.41 #2I have always found Friday afternoons to be a bit special.  Even in motherhood, where there ain’t no 9-5, even during our summer holidays, where there is barely a Monday-Friday distinction.  I still love a bit of Friday afternoon.

I am listening to some sweet fiddle music and basking in what is sort of my last weekend before i return to thinking about things other than family: actually feeling really excited to be participating in the super cool online conference for The Confident Mother in the UK (thanks be to Sherry Bevan for coordinating!).  It’s free!  And there will be many interesting opportunities to engage with a variety of people who spend time thinking about family life and motherhood.  EXCITED.  More found here.

Could just about wee my pants with excitement that I am registered to hear Dr. Rick Hanson speak when he comes to my neck o’ the woods!   Listen to an interview with him here.

So in honour of the new baby Annie born in the Canadian winter, I sign off with best wishes from a warm Kiwi Vendredi.

xx