Category Archives: happiness

Captain Bringdown

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Kia Ora, ladies and gentlegeeks

It’s been a while since I came and geeked out over here and shared some links (aka cleared some tabs) and it’s a joy and a privilege to have a moment to do just that!

Small one due home from school in a jiff and I will switch from office brain to domesticity. But for now I want to pause and breathe in and out together, perhaps grounding through all four corners of the feet and rolling the shoulders.  AMEN!

And then I wanna say … mate it’s hard sometimes.  So much of the news is bad and the threats are real. The wisdom of what to do to protect ourselves (and provide an umbrella for others) can be increasingly hard to tune into when we are surrounded by outrage machines.

YA KNOW?

Oh, Nature, we need you!

Oh, attention span, I miss you!

Oh, movement! I love you!

Anyway, busy time for this geek, learning heaps of new bits as I try and get a study through an ethics committee (my first go). Also attempting to wrestle a literature review into submission.  Winning, but JUST. Lots of family stuff too, of course. And if you’re planting with the lunar cycles (and why wouldn’t you, I’d like to know? Might as well, right?) then this forthcoming weekend is the time to get your seeds started under cover.  Well, if you live near Canterbury, NZ.

Why don’t we do a link dump now, my friends, and I will see you on the flip side.

Let’s start with something from Business Insider (I love a diverse perspective!) on evidence Apple shareholders used to show smartphones are addictive for kids. While we’re talking about kids and phones (which I do an awful lot of, these days.  JEEZ I’M BORING) here is something from Wait til 8th (from US … as in 8th grade aka kiwi year 10 aka 14 years old … they promote waiting till that age till parents get their kids a smartphone) ANYWAY here’s something from them about screen use in schools.   And here’s a pretty great opinion piece about screens in schools.

OK, one more screen site: this is a list reason of physics-based reasons that too much screen stuff is bad for us, from Fair Observer AND this is a piece about an important bit of legislation in coming up for discussion in the US, to make infinite scrolling and autoplay not the default setting anymore.  Sorry if that sentence didn’t make sense.  School bus is here gotta go

…

Back.  Nearly done with screeniac links. THIS is from Scientific American, and it’s about rebuilding social media to support empathy. They’ll need to read this manifesto from the Center (Centre!) for Humane Tech, about avoiding human downgrading. 

THIS from the Conversation is about the need for diversity in children’s books,  and speaking of books, here is a piece encouraging paper not screen, and enjoy this webinar from our pals at the Children’s Screen Time Action Network … it’s about reading aloud.  Hooray.  I absolutely get how getting your kid comfy listening to stories on the iPad while you get a meal going can feel like a win, but imagine a world where you could consistently BE the iPad in that scenario!  I miss curling up with warm little kids and reading them stories.  I think that my dearth of snuggly reading means I must be outta whack.  I blame the literature review.  And the excessive amounts of pine pollen in my atmosphere!

See what I mean about the attention span?  Where was I?

Here is a cool thing from Scientific American about babies’ sense of justice, and speaking of justice, won’t you please sign this petition. Then, as dessert, check out these gems from my man Rick Hansen, to lower stress. Oh, and speaking of dessert! How gross is this marketing of diets to children? NO Thank you.

Now I’m stressed out again and I’ll just head back to Rick Hansen for some deep dreaths and inner smiles.

Arohanui,  y’all x x x

screen free week aftermath

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Kia Ora lovelies,

I would have begun this post sharing the tales of joy that emerged from our week offscreen & offline (ie, LIVING LIFE!) but instead I must grouse about having spent the entire morning troubleshooting the problems with my referencing software.  Little Girl only has a half day of school today (therefore I can only count on a half day of productivity today!) and I have done NONE of the work I intended doing.  And she’ll be here in less than an hour!

SO FRUSTRATED.  But trying hard not to stress out.  Breathing in, out, in out.

The disconcerting bit is how the problem appears to be resolved, but I am not confident that any of my fixes worked the magic.  It seemed to inexplicably right itself, just as I commenced crying/yelling!

I cannot help but think that the screens are retaliating to my joyful rejection of them during Screen Free Week?  No, not possible!  Does AI exist in word processing/referencing software?  Surely not!  And if so, did the sight of my sobbing form elicit some kind of compassionate reaction?  I don’t know what to think!!

Anyway, friends, let’s share some links.

Here is a little something about how too many structured events can limit kids’ executive functioning.  Let ’em play!

This is a link to join a free online summit about mindfulness & compassion at work, and this is another online conference, about parenting a spirited/high needs child, and featuring the magnificent Dan Siegel.  Things we love about tech … right there.

The Center for Humane Tech has released some important info, this week, about the shared definition of “human downgrading“.  Love.  Not a moment too soon, my friends, as there are definitely downsides to our love affair with devices, and the hardware designers don’t seem to really want to support our paths to healing.  SHAME on you, Apple!

At least there’s Moment.  

Also, speaking of healing, I LOVE this approach from British doctors, prescribing real life stuff that’s good for the soul (I know I love my dance class and need it like medicine!).  Thanks, Smithsonian Mag, for sharing.  Unrelated goodness: using humour to share an important message about world overpopulation … endangered species condoms.

Here is an important article from “the conversation” about the loss of personalised school cleaning services, and the losses for children.  I’ve witnessed this outsourcing and I say “Boo!” (as in: thumbs down, not trying to be scary!)

To close: I humbly share something I wrote a while back, and may I urge you anew to eat your greens.

Happy Screen Free Week, y’all

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Screen Shot 2019-04-29 at 1.03.54 PM Here are Little Girl and I promoting Screen Free Week 2019 in our local paper.  The Week’s begun here in NZ, so I’ll make this snappy and save the multitude of awesome new links till next time!  Enjoy your week offline, I know I will.  Arohanui x x

alrighty, then … back to work

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This geek has had a crazy end to summer & beginning of Autumn.  A series of blessed distractions and beautiful messes.  International family … travellers enriching my life (and borrowing my office space …) so I’ve been busy with tour guiding, housekeeping, translating.

In so doing, I’ve had the great privilege of visiting corners of our lovely island that I had never seen before … like Fiordland, and Lee’s Valley … and many other spots I know and love, like Castle Hill (which is sooooo much busier these days!).

So the joy has been forthcoming, and the gratitude for the miraculous accident of being kiwi born.  Hard on the heels of all that joy, however, sits anxiety (“I need to hit my desk!”) and her cousin, guilt (“I should be doing some reading/note taking!”).

For now, I will clear off the tabs on my computer (OH! the things I long to share!) and I’ll ease back into the river … I’ve got 8 weeks to pull together a major bit of work, and then another 8 to pull together a couple more biggies.  I’ll aim to avoid the riverbanks of Chaos and Rigidity, and strive to float down the middle, in the Wellbeing flow, where all is Integrated.

I’ll remind myself that I am capable, and that I do actually enjoy this sorta shizz.  I’ll also remind my ol’ lady self (just had another birthday, watch me go!) that I AM THE BOSS OF ME … if this work gets the better of me, I have options!  I’m not in prison!  And if, periodically,  it feels like I am … I will remind it’s a prison of my own making!

And I’ll be grateful to share some links with some geeks … first up, I LOVE THIS.  It’s from a site called Ethical Research Involving Children, and it highlights a small but massively powerful change in seeking permission … check out this quote:

What is the change? Here is a typical statement in parental consent forms for children of all ages:

“As parent or legal guardian, I authorize (child’s name) to become a participant in the research study described in this form.”

Of course many variations of this wording exist, but the bottom line is that parents are asked to consent for their child to participate in research.

Try and use this instead:

“As parent or legal guardian, I give permission to the research team to approach my child (name of the child) and ask if he/she wishes to participate in your project.”

Right on!  A parent provides consent for a researcher to INVITE a child to participate.  That is an important distinction.

What else?  Here is an amazing article from the deep thinkers at Renegade Inc., this is about education and it is worth a read.  More on education, now …  Did I share this yet?  It’s an episode of the On Being podcast, in which neuroscientist Richard Davidson talks about the need to include kindness and practical love in classroom curricula.  Speaking of classrooms, watch out that the youngest kids aren’t disproportionately being labeled as pathologically flawed just cos they’re young (so said research from the University College London),  here’s something new to worry about (Wifi and cancer … oh dear) and here is a piece from the New York Times about the digital divide and how it’s not what we expected: these days, affluent parents are keeping kids off screens.  Meanwhile, this article, also from NY Times, takes the idea further … Human Contact is Now a Luxury Good).

What’s that?  We social mammals need social connection?  Ya don’t say!!

A wee bit more tech stuff, this is about how difficult it can be to think straight with the many interruptions of a phone (BTW how do I make my laptop stop telling me when my phone receives an imessage?  I don’t want to know!!) and here the good folk at the School of Life tell us how to live more wisely around our tech.  Listen, if those of us who are fully grown are struggling with all this, we owe it to the small people to help them stay offline, and sane.  As it is, the internet knows you better than your spouse does (so said Scientific American!), instagram makes you miserable, and we are all fighting the tide of Persuasive Design!!

(oooh, in unrelated news … I heard a great quote by Maria Popova about hope, cynicism and critical thinking … don’t you just love Brain Pickings?  Check it all out, my friends!)

Home stretch now … This article from the Guardian implores American moms (but they might mean us non-American mums, too?) to stop feeling guilty and start getting mad … and it’s true … there is plenty to be mad about!  I”m mad that so much misinformation about child development persists and I’m mad that so many people still casually disrespect children and it even makes me a bit mad that our opportunities in life are still heavily dependent upon where you are born.  (Me: born in NZ in the 1970’s = BLESSED!! )

How to avoid stagnating in that mad place?  Well, I look for things that crack me up, I look for ways to feel peaceful and move joyfully.  I take action, I donate money (when I can) and I look after my gut!  

Next time, my friends, we gotta get serious about planning for Screen Free Week, which starts at the end of this month.  Till then, take care.

Arohanui, x xx

many links to … enjoy?

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As is oft the case, my geeky brothers & sisters, a great many of the things I’m about to share with you might not exactly be *enjoyable*.  But mate, they are important nonetheless.

So while the clock’s tickin’ and time’s a-wasting, I’ll just commence the link dump, shall I?

First, a really useful piece about being trauma informed  in the classroom, and while we’re in the classroom, here is a lovely li’l something about the role of self-compassion in academic performance.  Important, because look how harrowing grad school can be.

A few more screen-y links: here is something about the risks of choosing electronic socialisation over the kanohi ki te kanohi, face to face type, and the Guardian reminds parents not to let children take screens into bedrooms.

Here are a couple of research articles to seek out: this one carves a line between screen time and developmental screening scores, (which is problematic: check out THIS  from the Independent pointing to how much more time the littles are spending on screens than they did even 15 or so years ago) … and this work points out how screen use during daily routines is contributing to social-emotional delays.  As a counter, you might LEAN IN to the routines, thusly.  

Reasons to resist, continued!  In this interview,  Chamath Palihapitiya (a former Facebook exec) says:

 “I think we have created tools that are ripping apart the social fabric of how society works. The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops we’ve created are destroying how society works. No civil discourse, no cooperation; misinformation, mistruth. You are being programmed”

 

Other stuff now … HERE you will find an article about the ways that early development (specifically behaviour) points to earning power in adulthood, this is a piece from Psychology Today about the spotlight effect (how I love a research project that involves Barry Manilow!) and here is some goodness from Rick Hansen about taking in the good.

Speaking of good, check out this project that keeps people bicycling at all ages, here are five ways to nurture compassion in kids, and this is a slew of treats for the simplifier in your life.  This is just about the coolest thing I’ve ever seen – haiku meet the Supreme Court of the US… and a final bit of inspiring reading is to be found here, and it is about self-definition.  Yeah!

have yourself a geeky little Christmas

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mama body issue coverKia Ora koutou, hello everybody!It has been a challenge to get to the computer, but I did it … even if just for a moment!  To the left is a quote I’m rather proud of – I have an article in the most recent issue of OHbaby! mag, about mother’s bodies and the need to care for ourselves.

My usual annual ban on wintery Christmas songs (White Christmas, Sleigh Ride, etc) is temporarily abated – it almost feels like winter, because the conditions in my kiwi summertime are so spazzy (hail, rain, chilly temperatures).  So what the heck, right?  I could try being, as my Big Girl would say, “all chill”.  Not my natural state!

Quick link dump for my friends, then I’m off to help Little Girl clean her bedroom – how could a person add gifts to chaos in good conscience?

Speaking of gifts, may we begin with this from the LA Times, it’s the advice of pediatricians this Christmas.  Just say NO to electronic toys!

Other useful gift ideas: I have made another donation to RAICES, which is an organisation in Texas that gives legal representation to children who have been separated from their parents at the border.  Seeking asylum is not a crime!   If you can watch that video without crying you’re exempt from donation, I guess (but you may find coal in your stocking on Tuesday).

I supplemented that donation with the purchase of ITMFA gear for those I love.  These small acts of resistance make it easier for me to spread kindness and joy, which I will continue to try doing, because the positive vibrations will have genuine impact!

May your festive season be full of family and love and mess and tasty treats.  May you play board games, go for slow waddles around the block, and have the opportunity for a nap … but please exercise caution if your nap strategy involves plying children with screens.  It is probably oK just that once, but unconscious screen use is a poor long-term solution, especially if the kidlets are super young.  And don’t trust the buggers  telling you it’s all chill!  Even schools have been seduced.   Exercise caution, friends.  Use critical thinking.  Even some cynicism might be useful here.

But before we slide into Grinch-y cynics all the time, here are some lush treats to close.  This is Fred Rogers’ Emmy acceptance speech from 1997 (LOVE HIM), here is a link to the Greater Good Science Center  at UC Berkley, and this is a TED talk from Ilona Stengel about the role of emotion in science (big emotions here: I’m still tearing up from rewatching the Mr Rogers bit!).

Enjoy this rare and magnificent treat: Terry Crews channels Bob Ross for a restful gift, and I cannot get enough of the Inspirobot …

Speaking of awesome advocates and wise folk no longer with us, I await the film about the late, great Celia Lashlie with bated breath and I send extra greetings to her whānau at this poignant time of the year.

Finally: if you are involved in early education in New Zealand in any capacity, please take some time this summer to have a jolly good look at the info about the ECE strategic plan, and make your voice heard!  

Arohanui, y’all x x x x

 

it’s fledgling season

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E reads Earlybirdwhen I’m at my sink or at my desk I have views to different bits of lawn.  I can hear (I always hear them first cos they are LOUD) and see fledgling birds following their mothers around, and yelling for food.

It’s all I can do to not run out and give the fledglings a lecture.  They could find a sweeter tone when they call out, surely.  And then I’ll turn to the mother starling and insist she set some clear limits and encourage fledgling to develop the set of skills that will enable him to fend for himself, some day.

So I’ve been thinking about big ol’ fledglings, almost the same size as the parent but so clearly in need of their parents protection.  And then LO! and behold I went to a delicious and delightful book launch last night, for a lovely book called EARLYBIRD, by Julie Burgess-Manning with illustrations by Jenny Cooper. You can order your copy HERE.

Anyway, it is a beautiful picture book for children and families about a Pukeko family whose new egg hatches too soon, the care that egg must receive and the ways that the li’l Pukeko can (and does) flourish.  It will be such a gift for families to support understanding and hope during a really tricky time of life.  More and more babies are born prematurely, so lots of families could use a bit of extra support and let’s just say access to such support is patchy.  This book will help.   All hail, Champion Centre!

Other things that have been happening include a busy week of presenting and a final date for university work, and I foolishly had an expectation of kicking back thereafter.  Instead it’s catching up on appointments, tending to spring time garden, commitments with the kids, family stuff.  Which is all a blessing, to be sure, but sometimes I long to switch lives with my 11 year old nephew.  Muck around with a ball, eat, make fart jokes, do the occasional chore, eat, read, and sleep.  Oh, and hang out with your mates.

Sounds AMAZING.  That pretty much sounds like my dream holiday.  Throw in a lounger, some yoga, and cocktail hour, and I am on vay-cay!

But I’m the Auntie, not the nephew, so I’d better make the most of it.

Nerding out is one way I do that, so please do join me in a quick link dump before I go make dins for my peeps.

Alright: first up … I saw another awesome webinar from the Children’s Screen Time Action Network, this one features Nancy Carlsson Paige and her content is so good … well, all of them have been good.  Check out the archives HERE.   Annnnnnnnd, that webinar also served as an announcement for the release of this piece of goodness, it’s Dr Carlsson Paige’s Parent’s Guide to Young Children in the Digital Age: it is both free and wonderful.

Hey: I learned about this event “Roaring on Aotearoa” .. TOO LATE!  I have not read this book  or heard of this movement but it looks like my cup of tea, 100%.  Fingers crossed Santa could get that book for me.  Did any of y’all get to go?  Was it awesome?  I did manage to get tickets for this, though … turns out I’m a sucker for slapstick British comedy.  Blame my upbringing – big brothers = the Young Ones, etc.

Meanwhile, I thought this local bit about young leaders was both depressing and inspiring, and MATE our young people could use some back up, too … I ain’t lying about the need for caution around the tech and education for folks about the ways we’re being manipulated … in the meantime, we could all use the tech to look up loveliness like this recipe for simpler holidays from New Dream, then jot our favourite ideas onto a bit of paper and power down.   Just for a couple of hours.  GO ON.

 

 

work and play

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oh, self discipline.  I love how you’re getting me to stay at my desk and burn through my work, but it saddens me how this leaves us less time for joyful exercise!  And when we are getting our workout groove on, the desk work feels utterly protracted!  What to do?

Questions for the ages.

Here are some links for my pals …first … a link sourced from today’s webinar by the Children’s Screen Time Action Network (thanks, friends!) … please read this from the Atlantic … an article about distracted parenting.  This is what my research is about, and it is reeeeeeeally real.   We watched a short version of this documentary, and I defo want more.  The session also reminded me of this excellent article by Richard Freed, which we’ve linked to before but WHAT THE HECK, here it is again.   Digital detox, you say?  Here is a how-to.

Now, here is a link to the site of a group called Defending the Early Years (sheesh, someone’s got to …) and OH here is another article from the Atlantic, this one about whether we should trust Alexa  (which I think of as beginner AI … so the answer to the trust question is: of course not!).  Even so-called safe education based platforms wind up exposing inappropriate stuff  to kids

If you are not already subscribed to the excellent Evolutionary Parenting newsletter, check out some of their juicy goodness here and this is a chirpy little article about sexism in childcare (what comes first?  The undervaluing of children, the mostly female workforce, or the low wages and status?)

If you’ve the strength, read this article from Scientific American, it’s about downplaying competition and upholding growth mindsets in education, and finally, here is an article I wrote a few years back for OHbaby!  It’s humbling, because I have taken on more extra-curriculars than I had on my plate even then, so I reckon I am super un-fun-mum most of the times these days.  Join me in a deep sigh, will ya?

super fast roller coaster, with a deliberately chilled out soundtrack

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oh babe new septKia Ora e hoa ma,

What a day.  What a week!  A week in which the pictured issue of OHbaby! was released, there is an article in there that I wrote about our Minds … with deep and humble respect to Dan Siegel!  

And there was this luscious bit: last Monday I heard (shout out to the hardest working researcher in showbiz!  Tēnā koe, Keryn!) that Sue, Executive Director extraordinaire of Brainwave  Trust Aotearoa had shared some goodies with our Prime Minister, new mum Jacinda Ardern.  Well, blow me down … one of the three articles she passed along is one that I had written some years back.  It still stands up, I’m stoked.  I could barely be more excited … I long for some sit down conversation with Jacinda, and until then, this will do nicely!

I had a useful couple of meetings at university, I got a truckload of work done here in my office (aka my happy place) and as I type this, my kitchen is undergoing a long awaited massage!  This means I am without an oven for the foreseeable future.  Bring on the weird dinners!!

Also today, I watched the most recent webinar by the Children’s Screen Time Action Network, featuring the authors of the book Screen Schooled.   It was all sorta energizing, kinda depressing.

HEY: For face-to-face training of a different ilk (love that word) then won’t you please check out this offering “The Approach of Dr Emmi Pikler in AotearoaNew Zealand” … I’m confident that anyone attending will be inspired, educated, and will find community.  It’s in October, in the central bit of Te Ika a Maui.

A few random links to finish: this is Evolutionary Parenting, which I love, and one of the peeps on the webinar today shared this link, which is some interesting research dealing with how long it takes us to get back in the groove when we’re interrupted.

This is an interesting article from Mothering Mag, reporting on a study about how our workplace interactions can overflow into our homes (and it’s the kids who cop it!) .  Speaking of kids copping it (!!!) here is a call for more thoughtful design in high rise apartments, and this is a most fascinating something from Harvard about sleep deprivation and subsequent possible effects.  Nap time, anyone?

for the time being

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Ladies and gentlegeeks,
What is UP?

My body craves movement, and caffeine, so I won’t linger at my desk for much longer.  I finished an article this morning (huzzah!) and now I will turn my attention to domesticity.  With an impending (long-awaited!) renovation about to kick off at my place, I’m supplementing my usual household quests with a truckload of packing, cleaning, discarding.  I have been amazed aplenty: by the number of socks under my washing machine, how I really do need more than one rubber scraper, and by the pressure I feel to buy new tea towels.  Which I might, or might not do.  I am the gatekeeper of tea towels!

Now, friends, some links:

FIRST, with a belated shout-out to a beautiful lady geek based in Auckland, here is a link to a Stuart Shanker gig in that fair city.  GO, if you can.  Go.

A couple of links from Australia, now.  This one will tell you all about one of their home-visiting programmes, right@home.  Our parliament were just briefed about this project, and as we know, home visiting is an exceptionally effective way of supporting families.  Something completely different; here is an analysis of the gender imbalances in the top 100 selling children’s books in Australia.  So well done, you wanna see it.

What a conundrum – but finding decent books to share with children is so very worth it, here is an abstract to support that idea!

From the New York Times, now: there will never be an age of artificial intimacy … and this is a stunner of an essay about how we are more than our brains.  I was lucky enough, in the midst of my deepest days of brain science worship, to have mentors reminding me of the interconnectedness of our everything.  I mean, appreciate the neuro-stuff, but also cherish the rest.  Heck, you probably already do.  I just had to relearn that a while back.

Hey, with an ironic wink, here are a couple of brain links.  This is about the benefits of forgetting, and this asks “does living around violence change a child’s brain?” (answer: yes.)

ANYWAY … here is a lovely downloadable calendar for self care September (LOVE!  Thanks, Action for Happiness)  and now that you’ve girded your loins, check out this hideousness from the Washington Post about little kids and their online shopping habits.  Jaysus!  Can I please share another essay?  This one is about how children need to move and play and step away from the screens in order to learn.

Now, where were we?  A cuppa and a brisk walk both sound pretty good about now.  Arohanui x x x